last words come up all you’ve got to waste

Ok, I’ll admit something now that I didn’t when I wrote about Pavement last weekend. I cried through a lot of the middle part of their reunion gig. It’s not that unusual for me, my favourite songs often make me cry. At the time I thought it was the time travel aspect of the show, the sense they gave me of getting the last 10 years back. Ten years that were so full but that passed in a blink. Ten years that did a slow dance with my youth and then disappeared and left me standing, confused.

But it wasn’t until I was cooking last night and listening to Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain that I understood the implications of the time travel. During that show Pavement captured and made tangible moments from my past that I thought were gone forever. And I didn’t think that was possible. During various attempts at various diaries throughout my life I’ve tried to capture moments too, but it’s never worked. The experience was so unexpected and I was so happy. But I was also aware that they were giving me something I’m afraid I’ll never have again. Not just the 10 years, though god knows they’re important, but the sense of being able to hold moments that I thought were lost forever

even though they slipped through my fingers again as the songs ended.

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